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Every time I turned around in my City, I bumped into some new piece of myself. Oops, there went Saint Joan, Savior of the World. Someday, they'll know and love me. Ah, there goes Mouse Woman, the one who's afraid of her own shadow. Oh, there you are, you old Devil, the one who constantly carps and criticizes everything and everyone. I'm really sick of you! Then there's Robot Woman, who puts her head down and follows the latest series of tasks she has set for herself. No looking up now. And let us not forget Whiny One, who can't figure out why things have to be so hard all the time.

Well, I guess you get the picture. A bit like one of Picasso's more deconstructed masterpieces. An eye here, a nose there. A bit of a jumble it seems to me right now. I'm not nearly as calm about this as I sound. I'm really in a state of panic over this fragmentation. I can't find anything to hold onto. These pieces just keep jumping around and slipping past me. I have no self to cling to, no one to use in social situations when I need a role to play, a persona to be. None of these identities is adequate for the occasion.

Perhaps they all seem so negative because they're so incomplete in themselves. They need something more to give them life. They need to come together. And they need a bigger perspective. A little joie de vivre is most definitely in order!

My body has been feeling like a vise for some time now. Too small. It hurts and I've wanted to break out of it and soar, but now it's not just my body I'm wanting to break free of. It's me.

 

 

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